In this episode of Plastic Surgery Uncensored, Dr. Rady Rahban and his patient Stacy discuss her journey through a mommy makeover consultation. Initially seeking a mini tummy tuck to minimize downtime and guilt for taking time away from her family, Stacy was reluctant to undergo a full tummy tuck. After thorough discussions with Dr. Rahban, Stacy realized that a full tummy tuck would provide the most effective and satisfying result for her physical and emotional goals. Together, they address common misconceptions about the procedure, particularly the differences between a mini and full tummy tuck, recovery time, pain, and the guilt many mothers experience when considering cosmetic surgery. Stacy's story highlights how, through research and professional advice, she overcame guilt, fear, and societal expectations, ultimately feeling happier and more confident after her surgery.
This is an automatically generated transcript. Please note that complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome to another episode of Plastic Surgery. I'm censored, I'm your host, Dr. Rady Rahban, and I am very excited about today's episode. We are honored, as many times we are, to have a patient of mine, Stacey, who's joining us to help us discuss some very key concepts in plastic surgery. One of them is the guilt associated with having cosmetic surgery when you are a mom.
And the other is this really important topic in this notion of what is enough? How do I know what I should be getting or should I be doing a bigger or more profound surgery and the difference between in this instance, a mini versus a full tummy tuck Do I need it? Should I have it? And it's a really fascinating concept and I think you're going to really enjoy the show. So welcome to the show, Stacy. We're so lucky you have patients who come on the show, because, as I always say, I can do I can do the whole show by myself, but it is absolutely one tenth as impactful as if we have the show with someone who's courageous and I use the word courageous because they got to come on the show. And they got to expose themselves.
And I think it's really awesome when patients say, you know what, I can see how this could be beneficial to somebody else. So we're really grateful that you're here. You and I were just actually just chatting about it just the other day, and that's when this topic came to mind, which was when you and I had originally met. You're thirty seven years old, you have two beautiful children, three and four.
You're in great shape, but naturally having two children, breastfeeding them, et cetera, et cetera, some things have changed. And you came to me originally for what we Garden Variety call the mommy makeover. In that mommy makeover was the idea of addressing the changes that occurred into your abdomen. Right, And I don't remember, did you.
A sea section two? So very common, very common. You get a sea section, you get in shape, you're as good as you can be, and you get this what you refer to as a shelf. Right. Everyone at home who's had a sea section or whatnot, ninety five percent of people will immediately know what you're talking about.
And that's sort of where the sea section adheres to the abdominal wall, and then the skin now excess sort of hovers over it and creates this futpass shelf, this tire tire look or whatever. The question then is how the hell do I fix it? And you and I had a dialogue about it, and this is what I think was super fascinating and why I wanted I thought this would be a great topic. The question is what is the right way to fix it? And you and I talked about it, and then the issue came up of this concept of mini versus full, and mini tummy tuck versus a full tummy tuck. So let me just start by just defining the two so that when we get into it people will understand.
Essentially, a mini tummy chuck is a surgery where theoretically the scar is a little shorter, and then we go all the way up to the belly button in the work that we do, and we don't go above the belly button, hence the mini concept, so anything that's happening north of the belly button doesn't change, and we are basically removing the redundant skin that's below the belly button. So if you have crapy skin or in this instance, that shelf that you were referring to, that will all be addressed. What does not get addressed Number one, any redundant skin above your belly button, it will always stay there. And number two, and most importantly, any muscle separation, which we call diastasis RECTI could be tiny or severe, can't be addressed through a mini because the bottom half is the only thing exposed.
So the top half, which is the other half of the muscle, isn't addressed. And you don't want I just correct the bottom and then create some weird shape to your apt And so you and I met, and absolutely you looked fantastic, but there was these changes, and then we started our debate in our debacle right and after examining you, I said, hmm, I think you need to have a full tummy tuck. And then what did you say? Not the answer that I wanted to hear, because I had gone on a few consultations before that. And the reason that the partial came into mine or the mini, is because somebody I was talking to, somebody that I knew, and they'd gotten one, and they're like, I know, I had c sections, I had the shelf.
You don't have to get a full tummy tuck. You can get a partial. Sure the scar smaller the recovery. I'm like, wow, really, because before that, I think I had just succumbed to the fact that this is my new body and this is what I'm going to have, and I'm not willing to have a major surgery, so I'm just going to get used to this.
And when she brought up that idea to me, I'm like, wow, I didn't even know this was a thing. Got online, did all my research, went to a few consultations, and people were like, yeah, we can do that. No one really mentioned the full to me, because I think they knew that's what I was coming in for, was the partial. And you were my last consultation, and I came in and I told you that I wanted the partial, and you're like, and I explained to you that I'm not looking for perfect I just want to be able to wear clothes and not see the C section shop.
That was all that I needed. And your response to that was, but why stopped there? Like if it bothers you, why not fix all of it? And I think my response to you is, I don't need to be in a bikini I'm thirty seven, I have two kids, Like I past that stage of my life, got it, And your response to that was, but why if you want that, why not go for that? So I think a lot of it, so that was part of it. I think it's the shame of getting the surgery to begin with, and it was if it's a smaller surgery, I feel less guilt around that with respect to being out with my kids and not being able to pick them up for a few weeks and things like that. But I felt like you kind of caught that in this really weird way.
I think that we weren't in there that long, and I think you could sense that. It was this hesitation of yeah, I probably would if it wasn't for some of these other factors. But the pain was also a big one for me. I think in my head, the fact that it's your entire stomach, I'm going to be an excruciating pain, and I was very fearful of that.
So I think after talking through it with you and then really I think I listened to a few of your podcast I did a lot more research and really understanding the pain. And for me, what was great is that I did have somebody to compare it to. It'd had to see sections correct, So to just scour all reviews of people who've had them and really understand that if you're going to have major surgery, whether it's a partial or a full, you are going to be out. It's not like any of these surgeries you're bouncing back the next day and picking your kids up from school.
So if you're going to spend the time to recover, if you're going to spend the money on the surgery, why not go for what you truly want? Amazing, you brought up like forty seven things I wish I had a bad notepaper. So I'm going to go in and address each No, No, that's that's that is exactly. So let's start out with the first one. Many many many times, because of the new world we live in, patients come in not with a complaint, but with a procedure.
Patients come in, I'm like, how can I help you? I'm here for I want an anchor, BREASTLFT, a lollipop lift, or I need a mini tuck. And that is absolutely the wrong approach. It's a huge downfall of today's knowledge availability. You should absolutely know what the surgeries are know everything about them.
But you should come in and say, I'm here because I have this thing hanging here at the bottom of mine belly and I hate it. What do you, mister or missus professional recommend and let them tell you why, because now patients are coming in loaded with a procedure in their mind hell set on it because there's so much information there. You were sort of lucky and unlucky that you had someone who went through it and did really well. But the problem is you don't know her previous body.
You don't know her indications. Maybe she was an ideal candidate for a minute tummy talk. And then when you come in to these doctors, many of them don't want to lose you as a patient. So when you come in and you say to me, hid ok Trevan, I'm here for a mini tummy tuck, and I start to sense that it's mini tummy tuck or you're walking out the door.
If I am really concerned about making sure we operate on you mini tummy tuck, it is who am I to argue with you? At the end of the day, I'm here to do what you want. It's patient centric, It's about the patient those days of paternalistic medicine where I tell you what you need, Those are all over bullshit. I am supposed to tell you what you need. I'm the damn professional.
You don't know what the hell you're talking about. You got it from TikTok and a few friends. That is why you seek out lawyers. That is why you go to your accountant, That is why you speak to your investments professional for their guidance.
Yes, ultimately you will make the choice, but it is incumbent on us to make sure we tell you. So that was issue number one that I noticed, because you had seen a few people and it seemed as though were not It seemed as though, I remember you were pretty adamant that's what you wanted, and if I were reasonably savvy, I know not to argue with you. The second thing you brought up, which was really interesting, was this notion of guilt, which is many many many patients figure they do a little let's say, they want to look like this inside their heart, their heart of hearts. They want to look good, but there is this huge component of guilt and financial responsibility right that kind of mounds in together.
What kind of parent am I if I am spending my son or daughter's college tuition on being bikini ready right. And then clearly most husbands, even if they're supportive, don't get it right. It's like, what the hell you need? I think you're hot? Yeah, And so there's this huge wad of Okay, you know what this is already. I'm already such a bad mom.
Why don't I just do something small and then it'll all together be less of a bad thing. And that's exactly what you felt. And I've had hundreds of moms come in and I could tell they're trying to water it down because of not because that's what they want, but because somehow that makes this less uncomfortable. The next thing you brought up was this idea that if I if I, for example, had a mini, I'd be down for the countless.
Therefore I'd be less of a bad mom and I could get back to work and I could show my husband it was no big deal. And frankly, you know, I won't compromise my child's well being. And the truth matters. That's a lie, because many or not, what's the downtimes six weeks? It doesn't matter if you come and get your c section revised.
There is a scar, there are tissue planes, there's healing. There's all the same elements, and therefore it's the same recovery, which is, you can't go to kickboxing for a while. You gotta take it easy. It's the eye idea of like, once I'm making borsche, if I make a small part of it or a large part of it, it's saw the same mechanics.
It's just chopping a few more carrots and a few more beats. But at the end of the day, it really isn't twice the amount of work. Yah does that makes sense? And the last and by far the most important thing that you said, which is why we're basically even having this conversation, is this notion, this notion well I'll be okay with if I look okay in clothes. Why it's good enough? Good enough? Why would we shoot for a B plus? Like, why would that be our trajectory? Why would we go into such a surgery that you could afford? Forget about costs.
Let's just leave costs out of this for a moment. Frankly, in my humble opinion, if you can't do the surgery you need to do because you can't afford it, do no surgery, Like, hey, doc, I need a lobotomy. It's how much? Okay, fine, forget it, I'll I'll just take half of it out. What do you mean, It's either the surgery or not the surgery.
So frankly, you should never have finances come in because yes, it's costly, and if you can't afford it, go save and come back and do the right surgery. But there was this notion that you had brought up, which is, I don't need to look like a supermodel. No one said that you need to look like a supermodel. But if you had the objective, if you had the potential without doing anything crazy.
And I'm not referring to like, well we need to do fat transfer, then we need to do this, and then we need to take your ear. I'm talking about a garden variety procedures that's available to you. You yourself are telling yourself, let's tone it down, because I don't need more than that. And it was so obvious to me that you're beautiful, you're tall.
I know that it's just readily available to you, and I felt that we needed to push you on why not? Yeah, and so take me through that process of where I'm sort of like putting the mirror back and being like, Okay, I get it. I get it. If we did all this and you didn't were in swimsuit, awesome, ready, no problem, you would have been fine. It's better than what you were.
But why are we out of the gates? Why am i going to study for the exam? Be like I'm going to get a B plus? Yeah? Like why? Like why why not? Why not study to get an eight? And if I got to be plussible that's pretty good too. Yeah. I think for me, the biggest issue that I had was that C section shelf, and so if I just focused on that, it felt like I was trying to go a little acceptable and back to baseline in a way that that was the one thing that really bothered me that I think at that point I was two years postpartum of my second it was very clear it was not going away. Sure, exercise was not going to fix it.
Absolutely it was there for good. And I spent so much time grappling with myself of what I consider surgery, and that was a really tough thing. And now looking back, I wish I had sped it up because now on the other side of this is amazing. I wish I had this years ago.
Yeah, but by the time time that I started considering it and I grasped onto this idea of the partial in my head, I'm just fixing what the C section caused, not it was. I'm just reversing. I'm not doing cosmetic surgery. I'm right.
This is reconstructive. Therefore it's acceptable, reasonable, and totally makes sense. And any more than that would be cosmetic. It would be a reckless use of money, putting myself at risk for no reason, increasing my downtime for no reason.
Well frankly more pain, which was completely a lie, and so on and so forth. So absolutely, you partitioned it incredibly well. But now I'm holding the mirror, I'm in the consult and I tell you I don't it's not that's not accurate. At what point did you like, damn, He's right, okay, because you went ahead and did the full and we're going to talk about that in a minute after the break.
But what was the okay? Yeah, did you end up sitting with it? Did you talk to your husband, did you talk to other patients? What was that moment? Because you were you were you were pretty sure that that wasn't gonna happen. Yeah, I think in a very appropriate way you kind of called me on my bullshit. Hopefully I can it was but why is that really what you want? And the answer was no, I want to look amazing. I would love to wear a bikini, but I'm feeling guilt about it.
I think it was the first time that somebody kind of said, why all these other consultations, Sure, whatever you want. I had my husband saying, you look beautiful, you don't need it, and I was grappling internally with I shouldn't want this, I shouldn't need this. But if I'm going to get to this point, you nailed it. But if you're gonna have surgery, why not shoot for the bikini? Why just be okay wearing yoga pants and not having it exactly exactly? I love it? Okay, perfect segue.
We're going to take a quick break and then we're going to come back and we're going to actually talk about what the hell why are you on the show. You're on the show because you chose, in my humble opinion, to do the right thing, and as a result of that right thing, your life is so much that much better that you're like, God, I would have hated to have not done it. So let's take a quick break. We'll come back and we'll dive into the new you and the high quality life that you deserved.
All Right, we're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back with the second half Plastic surgery on sensor. All right, welcome back to the second half of plastic surgery and censored. And we're here with Stacy, who is taking us through her journey, which is a journey that many, many, many patients go through, and particular moms, because there's a very very strong mom guilt associated with this particular procedure, which is the reversal of the damages created by childbirth.
And I'm just so excited because you're such a perfect example of this condition and through your rendition of your experience, I'm hoping that other people sitting at home are like, oh my god, this ding ding ding, this is it, So the hell with it. You did it right. So here you are, obviously at my office and on some other office with some yoga pants, and you went ahead, we did the full mommy make over. Everything went great.
Let's start with that fear of. Let's start with each of the things that you were afraid of. All right, done, done done. Oh my god, you had a full tummy tuck.
You must be an excruciating pain. You must have been in excruciating pain for weeks. Okay, tell me how the pain was. I would not actually say that I had pain, okay, but I want you to hear that because it sounds scott.
If you said I was in excruciating pain, everybody would listen carefully. When you say you're not in pain, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, they probably pre orchestrated this. Now, I didn't tell you to do anything. If you were in pain.
Nobody would argue otherwise because that's what they expect. So say it again, you were not in what. I was not in pain. I had discomfort.
I did not have pain. I think my fear was this uncontrollable. The second you wake up from surgery, daggers in your abdomen sure uncontrollable. And even when I barely did my pain meds, I think it is a discomfort that was control.
So very similar for me for the C section. When you're sitting in bed and you're comfortable, you don't feel a thing. It's when you try to get out of bed a little bit and you move, you're like, oh, that's a little bit uncomfortable. It burns, Yes, it's tight, it feels like you've done I don't know, five hundred crunches.
You're sore. It's not, as you said, dagger like agony pain. And I'm not to suggest that no one has that pain. I would say the overwhelming majority of patients experience it as you do.
But you could have dagger type pain, very unlikely. And how long was the discomfort anyways? Maybe four days? Correct? At most it's five to six days. Yeah, So let's take the worst case scenario. You are that ten fifteen percent of dagger abdomen pain, which again we just don't have.
But nonetheless it's gone in a week. So that took care of one of your big And by the way, your fear of pain from an abdominoplasty is echoed by every single patient because the word on the st amongst a old school patients, people who add it before and patients having it now is it's gonna be worth it, honey, But you're gonna have to go through the fire, right, correct, I don't know what the hell other people are doing. I don't know why people are in so much pain. I don't know why people are in so much pain for so long.
It's not only I had dagger pain. It's I have dagger pain. And it's like in two months and I'm still in pain, let alone, barely any pain discomfort, and it's gone in a week. So not to care the whole pain worry you had, because had you had the pain, you still would have been like, well it was worth it, but you didn't have the pain.
Let's get to the recovery part. We tell you that whether you have a mini or a full, you got to kind of chill for two weeks. You can't be like, all right, guys, I'm ready to take you to soccer camp. It's just not gonna happen.
And then we tell you from two weeks to six weeks, you can go back to work, you can go pick up your kids from school. You just can't go to Yosemite yeah and go hike. It's just not going to happen. It doesn't matter what you have.
So tell me about that six weeks where you had to just it was it was inconvenience, So tell me about it. It was torture because I felt fine, So you want, I wanted to do so much more than I was allowed to do. I'd say about at a week, I felt pretty much I had to wear at the binder and all that, so your mobility was limited. But I felt fine.
I felt like I could go back to everything. So that was so The torture was not so much that it was destroying your life. It was that you felt well enough that the idea of taking it easy seemed somewhat silly, because you know, you felt you could do more. And the reason why I am so strict on my recovery so strict, I can tell you that no one else is a strict as me when it comes to wearing the garments not exercising, is because you have a small window, that is six weeks to allow the work that I did to if you will, for all intentsive purposes, scarify in together and create a construct such that at six weeks I told you to go do what What did I tell you you could do? At six weeks? I could go back to exercising.
What could I what was nothing? Six weeks? It was back to everything? Anything? Okay? When I say anything. I mean six weeks you okay? Doctor for a one I can't take it anymore. Great, perfect timing. Take the buyer off, go go go to half dome.
What do you mean? Go to haf dot, jump out of an airplane, sign up for krav maga, ju ju jitsu. I don't give a shit what you do. Now you can literally get punched in the stomach. I don't care.
That is why I do what I do. If you go and Google follow other people, they get started early, then it never gets better. They're constantly in discomfort, They're all hunched, over stilled, they're tight in the admin, all that nonsense. You were ready at one week.
I fort you at six weeks, and when I say, hit the ground running, and how is so? Now you're a year and fifteen months fifteen months out. So let's talk about that recovery. Because there's also this that, oh I did a tummy tech, so I'm gonna look great into bikini. But let's be honest, I'm not going to be doing yoga or pilates and do pilates.
I did pilates yesterday. I went back to what I did before. It was definitely I did a lot of weightlifting, and that I think was more mental getting back into it. If my body was different, it felt different.
I also had a breast augmentation, so doing things, oh there's now something there, but eased back into that. I now fully am where I was fifteen months or I guess pre surgery. But and then also yoga was interestingly something that sorry plates was something that I started before I was pregnant and did through my first pregnancy, and then after my first C section, never went back to because I never had that core s draincent. So now that is icing on top for me because that's now something that I've worked back into and now can do again that I couldn't do pre surgery.
Yeah. So, by the way, if you had done a mini, which has been absolutely fine, you'd never have this strength that you have. Your little muffin top thing will be gone. The opera abdomen would never look like it does, and by no means would you as flat and as strong as your core is.
So funny enough, for those individuals who are utilizing the this is reconstructive and this is cosmetic argument, which I think is nonsense because you deserve that cosmetic component. Repairing your core is reconstructive. Your core wasn't that shot before, So that's great. So and then the key component here is none of this stuff matters.
The only thing that matters is the way you feel about yourself. You get up in the morning, you walk into the bathroom, you get undressed, and you're gonna go take a shower, and you look at yourself. And that is the reason why, this is why I said to you, Why would you be just okay with looking okay in clothes? Why not get up in the morning if you had the possibility to look at yourself and be like, wow, I look, I look, I look damn great, awesome. So tell me where you are now that far forward and really literally what you told me the other day and prompted this whole podcast, which is I'm so grateful that you kind of, as you said, called me out on my bullshit, because now I'm the beneficiary.
So tell me about that emotional component of how you feel, because really, at the end of the day, that's what all this is about. Yeah, it's really interesting. I had a very full circle moment with where I was. But I remember I went with my husband away for the first time away from the kids to Mexico before surgery, and I was wearing my one piece and I still felt like it was there, and I had that moment of like, I feel like crap, like I don't like this.
And then soon after that is when I started having all the consultations. We actually went back to the same hotel with our kids over the holidays and I was rocking a bikini. Yeah, and I felt amazing, and I had I think, now I've been through this process of the shame and the guilt and working through it, and I feel amazing, and that rubs off on everyone around. I'm not sitting there stress about what I look like and worrying about that and feeling down.
I'm having an amazing time and feeling great about myself. Kids aside. It doesn't matter like just me, I feel amazing and I hadn't felt that way pre children, And you said it best. It rubs off.
There is a ripple effect beyond your imagination because the way you interact with your life partner, that intimate person in your life is one hundred percent predicated on the way you see yourself, not how they see them. They could think you're the hottest thing since slice bread, and if you're like, but my labia, then it doesn't matter what they tell you. You will be self conscious. And that's not you, that's every human being.
So I'm assuming that your intimate relationship, yeah, has much better, much better, right, And that's for all the people listening who are like, but you look beautiful, honey, I love you. You don't need to do that. This was never about I'm so sorry. This was never about you.
Yeah, like you could tell me I'm hot till the cows go home. But let's be honest, I got it. You are just not seeing what I'm seeing or whatever the hell it is. But there's this belly here and I need it gone.
And so that's actually the part that excites me the most is that uptick in intimacy, because did we do this for not oh wow, look at that photo of you on Instagram, that static moment of you. We do it for the higher quality of life. And the higher quality of life is those intimate moments, the sharing of intimacy, the feeling sexy, the going to a Vegas and going to a trip that emulates from that. The other part is your interaction with your kids.
Have you noticed any sort of change and some people feel like there's they have a nice, a better relationship with their kids, which they never thought they could because at the end of the day, you're when your body looks frumpy, Yeah, and it's your kids. Now, you kind of don't have any of that sort of deep deep not guilt. Guilt's not saying well, I've had parents, I have not gone through this process. I've had moms say that I look at my kids with a lighter feel.
I don't know what that meant, and I was just curious to see if that's something your experienced. You might not have, but there was this not that they blame their kids. Yeah, but it's like you little rugrats. Yeah, well I feel like myself again, which I feel like you kind of succumb to this.
I'm a mom, this is a new chapter in my life. Everything is going to change, and I think me feeling like I'm back physically, and that's I've worked hard, like I've still worked hard after kids, and I couldn't get back. And so now that I feel like I'm back, it's just this refreshed look on everything because I feel like I'm not just stuck in momhood. Yeah.
Well this is great because there's this notion that you need to be a mom and you got to forget about that past life. Yea, Like you can be attractive, sexy, were heels, look in that dress, and then be a mom. That two those two are conflictual. Yeah, and that couldn't be farthest from the truth.
Saturday night kids are asleep with the nanny. Whatever, you want to be super hot, that part of your life still exists. And that's why when you had said that to me, I said at thirty seven. At thirty seven, it's throwing the towel to you know.
It's good enough. Yeah, good enough is not a word I understand. And so I am really happy that you allowed us to force you and trusted us in that process. And it makes me so excited that you're that much better as a result of our journey together.
Thank you, awesome. Well. I think this was such a great episode because I love the emotional toils of doing plastic surgery, and I think this was a very helpful dialogue for many people struggling with this concept at home. So thank you for exposing yourself.
I know initially you were like hell no, and then you're like, you know what, I really want to help somebody. I do because I know that it helped me. So we're grateful. We wish you continued success on your journey.
This is just the beginning. You're only at fifteen months. I guarantee you, if you continue working out, you're going to get to a level of strength and fitness that you never knew you could. There's something to be said for having that internal if you will corset.
So sky's a limit, all right, guys. Well, that wraps up the super fascinating episode of plastic surgery at Cecer. You know, my exiting request Number one is if you enjoy the show, you love the show, go write something nice. Go write us a review.
Number one. It makes us all feel good. Number two it increases our visibility on the platforms, and it means a lot to us. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything, and then forward this pass us on to friends and family.
Look, you don't know who wants to do what in the secrecy of their home, and then they if only they had gotten this information, then so and so let's not be that. So go ahead and spread the message. Get our podcasts out to as many people you know, and tune in next week. I'm sure whatever we're talking about will be just as interesting, all right, signing off, I'm your host, Dr. Rady Rahban.
Plastic Surgery on Censor.
When Dr. Rahban does a consultation with a prospective patient, he wants it to be two things above all others: thorough and honest. He will find out from you just what you want from cosmetic surgery. And he will tell you honestly if you can get the result you want, and how he can best help you do so.
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